The end is in sight!

As I realized last night, I have not posted in my blog in over a month. This is due to my crazy schedule. I started my FINAL session of nursing school at the end of August. I am completing my med-surg (ICU/ER), leadership, and community health rotations and classes right now. I am realizing now that I am really beginning to run out of energy with this program. I am beginning to feel like I could only go so fast for so long, and I have reached my wall. This session is a "regular college semester" of 14 weeks so this is double as long as our past sessions of 6 weeks. I think everyone is struggling with the "slow" pace of this session. My sleep schedule and daily schedule are all over the place. Each night before bed Chip asks me what is going on for the next day because a lot of times he (and even me) can't even keep up with the daily schedule.


I am beginning to look for jobs which is exciting and extremely scary at the same time. I really want to work in Labor & Delivery or a Women's health area in a hospital. My second choice would be an operating room, and my third choice would be NICU (Neonatal ICU) or Pediatrics. Unfortunately these are the most popular areas to work in and most of them require experience. I am hoping that all my other work experience and work ethic will overshadow my lack of experience. I also stand by what I always said when looking for a PR job--"How am I supposed to get experience if no one will hire me?" 


I have decided that this job search (and many other areas of my life that I worry about) must go into God's hands and I cannot control this so I am depending on Him and everyday try to give it all to Him. I find that I struggle to depend on God and allow Him to take over in my life. I was reading last night in a book ("Balance That Works When Life Doesn't" by Susie Larson) about finding balance in your life and found what the author had to say very interesting. She said that one time the Lord spoke to her and said: You are living in the 'next' moment and missing the present one. You are so focused on your destination that you are only thinking about getting there. Did you happen to notice everything else around you?...You are missing so much of the journey because your mind is on the destination. All I could say was "WOW!" That is me right now. I am so focused on just being done with school that I cannot enjoy (and I use enjoy very lightly because I am not sure how much you can enjoy tests, studying, and late nights) nursing school and the place that God has put me. I should be so thankful to even be in this program right now and the impact I am making in my patient's lives, but all I can focus on are the little things that I cannot control. 


My goal for the next 2 months (only 2 more months!!!!) is going to be to trust in God that He has control over Chip and my life and our future together. I am going to start by praying this prayer (also in the book) everyday when I get up and saying this scripture:

Dear Father, 

You have done so much for me (and my family), and I thank You with all my heart. I don't know why I sometimes choose the less-than-best path when I know there is a better way. Motivate me to start anew today. Help me to find my way to the peace You provide. I want to take what You have given and give You a return on Your investment. Create in me an excitement to live a healthier life. I love You. Amen. 

"Then Jesus said, 'Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light." Matthew 11:28-30

I will try to be better about updates on my blog and ask everyone to hold me accountable.